Dear Beryl
Testing, one, two, three, testing.
Ahem. Oppress the masses. Whip servants. And bury that damn hooker that's stinking up the dining room.
Testing, one, two, three...
Very well, then. Hello there, Beryl! How goes mother? I trust she has already recovered from her accident with the spatula. Send her my best regards, will you?
Don't you love the holidays? Especially the fact that our holy days have nothing particularly holy about them at all? Go to any mall (I know, I know you hate shopping malls. Send a servant to a shopping mall with a camera) and you will see (or would see. Or will see the pictures of) Santa and his elves, and ugly little candy villages, and igloos, and a horrid little assortment of saccarine wintery decorations lining all the stores and squares, but I assure you you will not see any reference to the cause of Christmas- namely, Christ. Isn't it lovely that the supposedly most important person in all of history has been supplanted by snowmen and a fat charicature invented by a soda company?
And if you ever dare venture into a public school- God knows I would not- oh! If some foolish teacher or student decided to put up some small reminder that this holiday has ever had any connection whatsoever to any religion at all, some foolish parent who thinks he's terribly clever- or his ne'er do well kid- will sue the school and demand that the holiday be completely sterilized of anything that connects it to religion; and hence anything that gives it any shade of meaning whatsoever! And of course, we can always trust some "fair and balanced" news source to make extremists worry about it, never paying heed to the fact that it is not the fault of any single individual or political party or ideology that Christmas has become some bloodless winter festival. They conveniently forget that the first step to make this holiday just another excuse for the working classes to stuff some bird down their gullet- no Jesus, no Hannukah, no Kwanzaa, nothing that hints at transcendence- was its commercialization. Big business destroyed Christmas before liberals ever even thought of it. First Christ must share his day with Santa; Now atheists and agnostics pushed Christ over the edge, and now only Santa remains. I, for one, can hardly wait to see what myth big business will create when the red fat clown has outlived his usefulness.
Yours truly,
Cecil Mundane
Ahem. Oppress the masses. Whip servants. And bury that damn hooker that's stinking up the dining room.
Testing, one, two, three...
Very well, then. Hello there, Beryl! How goes mother? I trust she has already recovered from her accident with the spatula. Send her my best regards, will you?
Don't you love the holidays? Especially the fact that our holy days have nothing particularly holy about them at all? Go to any mall (I know, I know you hate shopping malls. Send a servant to a shopping mall with a camera) and you will see (or would see. Or will see the pictures of) Santa and his elves, and ugly little candy villages, and igloos, and a horrid little assortment of saccarine wintery decorations lining all the stores and squares, but I assure you you will not see any reference to the cause of Christmas- namely, Christ. Isn't it lovely that the supposedly most important person in all of history has been supplanted by snowmen and a fat charicature invented by a soda company?
And if you ever dare venture into a public school- God knows I would not- oh! If some foolish teacher or student decided to put up some small reminder that this holiday has ever had any connection whatsoever to any religion at all, some foolish parent who thinks he's terribly clever- or his ne'er do well kid- will sue the school and demand that the holiday be completely sterilized of anything that connects it to religion; and hence anything that gives it any shade of meaning whatsoever! And of course, we can always trust some "fair and balanced" news source to make extremists worry about it, never paying heed to the fact that it is not the fault of any single individual or political party or ideology that Christmas has become some bloodless winter festival. They conveniently forget that the first step to make this holiday just another excuse for the working classes to stuff some bird down their gullet- no Jesus, no Hannukah, no Kwanzaa, nothing that hints at transcendence- was its commercialization. Big business destroyed Christmas before liberals ever even thought of it. First Christ must share his day with Santa; Now atheists and agnostics pushed Christ over the edge, and now only Santa remains. I, for one, can hardly wait to see what myth big business will create when the red fat clown has outlived his usefulness.
Yours truly,
Cecil Mundane

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